In my last post I mentioned about things that are significant, that matter and to do what matters. I was thinking about it and it’s interesting because we all know where we want to be in the future and most of time we also know what we should do to get there and yet we do not get there. There are two reasons I was able to think of…

I was stuck and wasn’t able to come up with an explanation for this at first so what I did is I took my bicycle and went out cycling around the town, it helps me think and maybe it’s the joy of cycling or maybe it’s the oxygen rich blood reaching my brain. So, what I saw was a person cutting trees. When you look at it then it’s a common thing to see that a person is cutting a tree, it is his job. But I thought about it and is that person motivated to do what he does, maybe he is but was this his end goal, was this a dream of his? I want to get old and I want to cut trees? this is highly unlikely that someone would want to be the best tree cutter in the country or the world. Most of the people do it because it is a necessity or maybe social pressure or just the situations we are in. Now apply this in your own life and you will see that there are things we do that really don’t contribute to our future and some of those things we know we should not be doing it and yet do it, social pressure is the most influential factor I think. Now for the tree cutter maybe he had no other way to feed his family but most of us are not in such a bad situation, a lot of us have a choice. Social pressure and the Fear of missing out made me download Instagram a few months ago and I thought of it two days ago and deleted my account. I asked myself two questions: first one was, what is that I gain from this app? my answer is that I could be updated on what my friends and family are up to. second was that is there a better way to see what my friends and family are up to? the answer to that was yes! I could just text them or call then, I did not need Instagram for that and hence I left it.

If you know something about bonsai trees, these are miniature trees which are beautifully crafted by years and years of care. the person who takes care and grows this bonsai decides how to shape the tree, which branches are useless and which are important, when to cut which branch. Most branches are cut off in order for a few to prevail. Imagine the bonsai is your life and the branches are the things you do, only a few matter and others you need to cut so that the important few will grow.

Now the question is the big picture. What is this big picture? I think everyone has ambitions, everyone wants to be this person they dream of. The sad truth is 90% people will die without getting there, they will die unfulfilled. And I do not want to die that way, I want to live my life the way I want to and be the person I want to be. And the sad part about all this is, half of the people are telling you that what you should be and you should Strive to be & half are saying you are perfect the way you are and you don’t have to change. People get stuck in this conundrum and are left confused that what to do. I was also confused, to some extent I still am but what I have discovered I will tell you.

You are not perfect, you are good enough but no one is perfect and everyone has room for improvement. At the same time you must not go into the phase where you get dreamy about who you will be if you maybe worked out a bit more or maybe studied a bit more or whatever you guys can think of. the problem is that if you dream of this person you want to be will make you feel that you are not that person and that leads to not doing things and being lazy. Let me explain with an example, I want to be this person who has really fit body by going to the gym, I want to have it means I do not have it yet, and that means I think I am not fit, which then leads me to think what do people who aren’r fit will will do, sit and eat and watch tv and I will end up doing that because I am not fit. So, maybe that means I should think I am fit and that will solve this. That again is a problem because then I am living a lie, which is very bad. what I have learned so far is I think enjoying the process is the best way, do not fantasise where you want to be because that will end up making you feel bad about yourself and do not think you are perfect which then will make you think you have reached your goal and don’t need to work anymore, also narcissism comes with that which is also bad. You should set goals but never get fixated on them and just enjoy the process and be satisfied by your day.

Although this does not mean that you live in the present not thinking about the future, what I understand and what I am trying to say is that everything is fluid and not rigid, different ideas, even contradicting ideas, all of them can be correct. It depends on how you view them. And if you follow something without thinking about it much you will end up having a rigid idea of the world and yourself and that will only make you more and more miserable until one day you snap and find out that it is too late and you are stuck. Yes most people cannot change what they are doing and I understand the circumstantial aspect of it but if you are a person that is doing something they do not want to do just because it is easy or maybe social pressure, maybe try to do something you are passionate about, something you dreamed about and se if it works and most importantly see if it makes you happy.

Thank you for reading it till the end, this post has been all over the place, I hope it helps. If you have an idea of your own then you can comment here and we could discuss, and if you think I said something wrong then too you can comment and we could discuss.